Water Hyacinth, Named by a Poet

Memo: 1 A.M. at Boulevard Hotel, KL, Malaysia.

Although I am devoid of knowledge for all things related to plants and flowers, this is definitely not a water hyacinth – the picture just reminded me of REM for some reason.

Had milk and cookies in a desperate attempt to get some shut eye, because a 6 A.M. wake up would be easier if it had been a 6 A.M. “do not sleep” if not for the extended itinerary the next day. Eventually drifted off to Obama’s inauguration speech.

Standup Online Comedy: Favourite Things To Wake Up To

B: hello darling!
Me: hi! :)
B: what should I do if I think my filling just popped out and I just crunched it to bits thinking it was a piece of my chocolate?

Tinge

How to pass a driving test… the Lith way

Now as you may or may not know, I have the shortest attention span in history. How short? As short as staring into a lover’s eyes and going, “I love…. hey look, m&ms!” Otherwise, when you’re rambling on about something equally interesting and monotonous like the weather, my mind could rival Calvin.

Yeah. No kidding. The mind is definitely not supposed to wander whilst on the roads! In fact, I remember subconsciously tapping the horn to a tune in my head, much to the horror of the instructor…So, hello calculated improvision!

Two choices:

• Ritalin – which I was legally prescribed but refused to take after 2 years – for focus and concentration
• Benzos – Mmmmm…..benzos. – to dull the over-active imagination.

So, flip a coin… and benzos it is! [Ed's note: Not really, I had no access to Ritalin anyway, and there were more than just over-active imaginations to be dulled ;)]

Now here’s where to pay attention.
**All benzos named are arbitrary, and can be substituted for anything you like, such as aspirin or baby powder**

Assuming zero tolerance to benzodiazepines, take one diazepam the day before the test. Take another when you feel it wearing off. Run out of diazepams? A couple of ativans plus clonazepam will do it. Oh, and there’s that unidentifiable pink pill.. just take it anyway.

The next morning, do not take anything more! They should still be in your bloodstream, and all is right with the world. One track mind. No stray thoughts. No one’s going to hold you up with an AK-47. No psychotic girlfriends in the back seat. Now go ace that test!

Epilogue (approximately 6 months late): Tested and proven, and I have the license to show for it. For Singaporeans who get it: I passed with 8 points leh!!!! ;)